Mentorship is an interesting, fluid concept. I think that this book has done a pretty decent job of giving a philosophical view of mentorship and is able to be applied at many levels, whether at the corporate or personal level.
My goal in reading this book was not only for personal pleasure, but to help in my mentoring skills in general, and to help my fellow students in developing their mentoring and career counseling skills.
At the end of the day, we are responsible to support the generation that ultimately will replace us. Being strong and supporting them through acts of membership will ultimately lead to a better society.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Chapter 8 - The Gifts of a Mentoring Environment
I like this chapter in that it is the culmination of what I have been looking for. According to the chapter, Mentoring is really taking in another person's experiences and modeling or finding some continuum after one's own.
One thing I really want to stress is that mentoring is not telling someone what they should be doing, it's explaining what one's own experience has been in a given situation. Too many times people spend time telling their mentees what to do and then can't figure out why they don't do what they are told. That's parenting, not mentoring.
The chapters indicate mentors have clay feet in that they are still there, puposeful and a strong boat in the face of wind.
One thing I really want to stress is that mentoring is not telling someone what they should be doing, it's explaining what one's own experience has been in a given situation. Too many times people spend time telling their mentees what to do and then can't figure out why they don't do what they are told. That's parenting, not mentoring.
The chapters indicate mentors have clay feet in that they are still there, puposeful and a strong boat in the face of wind.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Chapter 7 - Imagination
This chapter, based on the first page talking about "exploring, understanding, and naming self, world, and 'God'". Basically, it's about defining the world around the young adult. I think that's an important and critical role the adult must take, and they shouldn't take that task lightly.
If the young adult can define their world around them, then they can more effectively address their goals and ideas about what their future holds. Being more determined in what they should become as determined by their higher power can be an important.
However, when this is occurring, the text discusses in depth the importance of having rapport with the mentor in an effort to define these. I think that, as an adult educator or mentor, that is important - again looking at the process of meaning making that the young adult goes through in order to create definition around them.
The text also discusses "sabbath time" - a moment for pause and reflection. How important is that! Time to reflect on the past and look positively towards the future. I don't think anyone does that enough. I am very much a supporter of journaling. This can lead to a "repattering" of life and goals.
It seems to me that the young adult should do this, and not rely wholly on the mentor to do this for them as it can be an individual process.
It leads very well into the ins and outs of mentoring environments to be discussed in the final two chapters of the book.
If the young adult can define their world around them, then they can more effectively address their goals and ideas about what their future holds. Being more determined in what they should become as determined by their higher power can be an important.
However, when this is occurring, the text discusses in depth the importance of having rapport with the mentor in an effort to define these. I think that, as an adult educator or mentor, that is important - again looking at the process of meaning making that the young adult goes through in order to create definition around them.
The text also discusses "sabbath time" - a moment for pause and reflection. How important is that! Time to reflect on the past and look positively towards the future. I don't think anyone does that enough. I am very much a supporter of journaling. This can lead to a "repattering" of life and goals.
It seems to me that the young adult should do this, and not rely wholly on the mentor to do this for them as it can be an individual process.
It leads very well into the ins and outs of mentoring environments to be discussed in the final two chapters of the book.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Chapter 6 On Belonging
Key point here is: "human becoming absolutely depends upon the quality of interaction between the person and his or her social network."
The chapter does a decent job of discussing how the community of belonging, which gets redefined as a child ages from a conventional dependent community, to a self-selected community, is important as a child develops into a young adult.
The chapter also discusses how societal norms are infused on the young adult. These change from societal norms in the eyes of the child to self-directed value systems that, through the help of a mentor, the child can develop that leads to successes later in life.
However, as the child develops their value systems, there is a higher level of complexity and challenges that they face. With hope they are not facing this challenge alone, but with the assistance of a helpful mentor the can handle the complexity and competing interests.
A clear example is the foster or adoptive child who is choosing between two communities - their community of origin or the community of the foster parent, which can be dramatically different. A third party coming in and assisting the child in developing a value system which may be inclusive of the two communities helps the child grow and develop.
The chapter does a decent job of discussing how the community of belonging, which gets redefined as a child ages from a conventional dependent community, to a self-selected community, is important as a child develops into a young adult.
The chapter also discusses how societal norms are infused on the young adult. These change from societal norms in the eyes of the child to self-directed value systems that, through the help of a mentor, the child can develop that leads to successes later in life.
However, as the child develops their value systems, there is a higher level of complexity and challenges that they face. With hope they are not facing this challenge alone, but with the assistance of a helpful mentor the can handle the complexity and competing interests.
A clear example is the foster or adoptive child who is choosing between two communities - their community of origin or the community of the foster parent, which can be dramatically different. A third party coming in and assisting the child in developing a value system which may be inclusive of the two communities helps the child grow and develop.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Chapter 5 - It All Depends...
Continuing on the philosophical education front, this chapter takes a look at changes in our lives and how they are impacting the development of the young adult.
Again, it takes a look at the development of the child from a dependent being, to an interdependent, successful young adult. I wouldn't say that dependency is necessarily a bad thing for the child. However, when a young adult is experiencing a higher-than-normal level of dependency, that could be considered clinical co-dependency.
There is a middle area in this development called counter dependence, which we as adults observe in our children all the time - it is a pulling away from the authority that they needed when they were very dependent.
There is yet another topic that is discussed called inner-dependence, which I think goes hand-in-hand with c0-dependency in the case that a higher level of inner-dependence can have the tendency to wear off co-dependency that many adults experience.
All in all, the chapter does an effective job of discussing the young adults relationship to the self and world around them. Being self-reliant is expressed effectively within the discussion.
Again, it takes a look at the development of the child from a dependent being, to an interdependent, successful young adult. I wouldn't say that dependency is necessarily a bad thing for the child. However, when a young adult is experiencing a higher-than-normal level of dependency, that could be considered clinical co-dependency.
There is a middle area in this development called counter dependence, which we as adults observe in our children all the time - it is a pulling away from the authority that they needed when they were very dependent.
There is yet another topic that is discussed called inner-dependence, which I think goes hand-in-hand with c0-dependency in the case that a higher level of inner-dependence can have the tendency to wear off co-dependency that many adults experience.
All in all, the chapter does an effective job of discussing the young adults relationship to the self and world around them. Being self-reliant is expressed effectively within the discussion.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Chapter 4 - It matters how we think
This chapter discusses the evolution that the young adult takes in developing their thought patterns, from adult-based thought processes based on general acceptance of what the adult is saying to independent thinking.
As the young adult develops in their "meaning making" as identified in previous chapters, they are able to independently identify their thoughts - whether or not they have substance or facts/evidence to back up their thoughts. Just the simple act of making a statement whether it be fact based or not, is a step in the right direction.
As we know the brain does not fully develop until the child reaches age 25 (I heard this from the author of the "5 love languages" process). However, adult education and learning help the child develop these new thought patterns, potentially helping them use facts to back up what they are saying. The author refers to this as "self-awareness".
In conclusion, the author states "Adult connotes one's having achieved the composition of the critically-aware self, with its attendant responsibility for the self". I think that's a fair conclusion and summation of how the brain fully develops into the critically aware young adult. This helps from a mentoring perspective in that the mentor can help the mentee further action this development.
As the young adult develops in their "meaning making" as identified in previous chapters, they are able to independently identify their thoughts - whether or not they have substance or facts/evidence to back up their thoughts. Just the simple act of making a statement whether it be fact based or not, is a step in the right direction.
As we know the brain does not fully develop until the child reaches age 25 (I heard this from the author of the "5 love languages" process). However, adult education and learning help the child develop these new thought patterns, potentially helping them use facts to back up what they are saying. The author refers to this as "self-awareness".
In conclusion, the author states "Adult connotes one's having achieved the composition of the critically-aware self, with its attendant responsibility for the self". I think that's a fair conclusion and summation of how the brain fully develops into the critically aware young adult. This helps from a mentoring perspective in that the mentor can help the mentee further action this development.
Summary
“Big Questions, Worthy Dreams: Mentoring Young Adults in Their Search for Meaning, Purpose, & Faith” by Sharon Daloz Parks.
Pages – 288
Publisher – Jossey-Bass
Copyright – 2000
Summary
The first question someone may ask is “Why Mentoring”. The reason I chose this book is multi-fold. First, I think we are naturally mentors in the areas in which we teach. We are not just teaching technical skills to our learners, but may be teaching them life skills and different ways of thinking about things. Secondly, and most important, I am a mentor to many kids and I really want to fine tune what I am representing and teaching them, and understand the benefits and challenges of being this type of role model in the lives of children.
A good case in point – in 1997, I was a new employee at American Express, and was in my early 20’s. I had no clue about life or the challenges associated with “growing up”. I also honestly had no clue as to what I was going to do with my career. There was a person by the name of Sandy who helped me identify, by her leadership, mentoring, and demonstration of professional behavior, the qualities of a professional educator. She ultimately moved on to educational leadership and I (10 years later) moved onto instruction.
The book itself starts the first several chapters speaking of philosophy of mentorship. It begins with a discussion of faith – knowledge of the unknown. It also discusses how young adults are constantly in a state of evolution and are constantly using their “meaning making skills” to redefine meaning in their lives. What the mentor does, in the authors’ opinion, is help the young adult through this process of meaning development. The relationship that the young adult has with its surroundings – community, self, world, and reality – is what perpetuates the change of meaning the author is speaking of. When there is a loss, it is the goal of the mentor to help the mentee rediscover reality after loss.
The link to adult education that can be made is that the new learner, regardless of the learning environment, usually has experienced some sort of loss in their lives, whether it is unemployment or change of geographical location.
The rest of the first 7 chapters mainly discuss the importance of relativism in the meaning making skills of the young adult, the importance of a community (It takes a village – style mentality), the importance of interpendence with society and the familial unit of the young adult, and the imagination of what is possible for the young adult. The author discusses in somewhat depth Piaget’s meaning-making theories and schemas which young adults use in recreating meaning. Again, for the adult learner, this would mean that they are building on what they have already learned in previous learning environments.
I think Chapter 8 does a fantastic job of just really getting to the heart of what a mentor looks like, thinks, and acts. I am very touched to see that some of the qualities of a successful mentor – positivity, recognition, holistic thought processes, and seeing the big picture – are qualities I already have. (There’s always room for improvement).
Chapter 9 goes into the environments where we can see mentoring take place – higher education, workplace, families, and religious faith communities. It does a good job of discerning not necessarily what qualifies as a mentor, but how the process of mentoring applies to each of the listed environments.
Finally, Chapter 10 discusses culture as a mentor. The thought here is that the norms of the culture where the mentee is in really define what should be practiced. I think in this environment, the culture and demonstration by more senior individuals demonstrates how the mentee should or should not behave. In this situation, anyone can be a mentor by demonstration. In a workplace environment, that would be the person’s leader, seniors in the same position as the mentee, and others who are considered experts. Again, this does not appear to be a formal mentor relationship as previously discussed, but rather an informal process by which the mentee is slowly developing their skill set by observation.
The point here is that whether or not the mentor relationship takes place in a workplace, learning, or social environment, the same activities take place, and the importance of the mentor relationship is roughly the same – helping the mentee make new meaning of the world around them.
The point of discussion here is – What qualities do you see a mentor needing? Give examples of your mentoring as either a mentor or mentee, whether it is formal or informal. How has the mentee benefited from the relationship? How has the mentor?
Pages – 288
Publisher – Jossey-Bass
Copyright – 2000
Summary
The first question someone may ask is “Why Mentoring”. The reason I chose this book is multi-fold. First, I think we are naturally mentors in the areas in which we teach. We are not just teaching technical skills to our learners, but may be teaching them life skills and different ways of thinking about things. Secondly, and most important, I am a mentor to many kids and I really want to fine tune what I am representing and teaching them, and understand the benefits and challenges of being this type of role model in the lives of children.
A good case in point – in 1997, I was a new employee at American Express, and was in my early 20’s. I had no clue about life or the challenges associated with “growing up”. I also honestly had no clue as to what I was going to do with my career. There was a person by the name of Sandy who helped me identify, by her leadership, mentoring, and demonstration of professional behavior, the qualities of a professional educator. She ultimately moved on to educational leadership and I (10 years later) moved onto instruction.
The book itself starts the first several chapters speaking of philosophy of mentorship. It begins with a discussion of faith – knowledge of the unknown. It also discusses how young adults are constantly in a state of evolution and are constantly using their “meaning making skills” to redefine meaning in their lives. What the mentor does, in the authors’ opinion, is help the young adult through this process of meaning development. The relationship that the young adult has with its surroundings – community, self, world, and reality – is what perpetuates the change of meaning the author is speaking of. When there is a loss, it is the goal of the mentor to help the mentee rediscover reality after loss.
The link to adult education that can be made is that the new learner, regardless of the learning environment, usually has experienced some sort of loss in their lives, whether it is unemployment or change of geographical location.
The rest of the first 7 chapters mainly discuss the importance of relativism in the meaning making skills of the young adult, the importance of a community (It takes a village – style mentality), the importance of interpendence with society and the familial unit of the young adult, and the imagination of what is possible for the young adult. The author discusses in somewhat depth Piaget’s meaning-making theories and schemas which young adults use in recreating meaning. Again, for the adult learner, this would mean that they are building on what they have already learned in previous learning environments.
I think Chapter 8 does a fantastic job of just really getting to the heart of what a mentor looks like, thinks, and acts. I am very touched to see that some of the qualities of a successful mentor – positivity, recognition, holistic thought processes, and seeing the big picture – are qualities I already have. (There’s always room for improvement).
Chapter 9 goes into the environments where we can see mentoring take place – higher education, workplace, families, and religious faith communities. It does a good job of discerning not necessarily what qualifies as a mentor, but how the process of mentoring applies to each of the listed environments.
Finally, Chapter 10 discusses culture as a mentor. The thought here is that the norms of the culture where the mentee is in really define what should be practiced. I think in this environment, the culture and demonstration by more senior individuals demonstrates how the mentee should or should not behave. In this situation, anyone can be a mentor by demonstration. In a workplace environment, that would be the person’s leader, seniors in the same position as the mentee, and others who are considered experts. Again, this does not appear to be a formal mentor relationship as previously discussed, but rather an informal process by which the mentee is slowly developing their skill set by observation.
The point here is that whether or not the mentor relationship takes place in a workplace, learning, or social environment, the same activities take place, and the importance of the mentor relationship is roughly the same – helping the mentee make new meaning of the world around them.
The point of discussion here is – What qualities do you see a mentor needing? Give examples of your mentoring as either a mentor or mentee, whether it is formal or informal. How has the mentee benefited from the relationship? How has the mentor?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Chapter 3 - Becoming at home in the universe
The chapter first discusses how the word "home" is the most powerful word in the english language. Odd how we define and redefine that concept throughout our lives!
The chapter discusses the concept of belonging, and of shelter and safety. When we go back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, it appears to me that home is at the foundation of the hierarchy - in meeting the child's safety needs. From an adult learner perspective, sometimes it's important for us to create a sense of home within our learning environment, where the learner feels safety and the ability to learn and express themselves.
The chapter then goes onto explore Erickson's stages of development, which classifies people's stages of life as 8 distinct steps along life's path, and that these are not easily defined with age, but as descriptions of how someone presents themselves. It's interesting how adolescence is defined as "identity vs. role confusion" and how our learners, even in a workplace educational setting are still in this role even though they are technically adults.
The chapter then goes on to discuss Piaget, a philosopher who I studied in my childhood development class. Piaget does a good job of discussing how children move from a sensorimotor stage to a formal operations stage in their cognitive development. Once again, I think the author does a good job of indicating that the cognitive development is separate from age - just because someone becomes an adult does not make them classified as in the formal operations stage.
When discovering ones place in the universe, the author also discusses how people move from "I am my relationships" to "I have relationships" which is something that many people I work with have trouble moving towards. Their lives are encompassed by their relationships and they are not able to separate themselves from relationships. This can affect their interpersonal relationships whether in an educational or personal setting.
Ultimately, he equates the transformations we have in our human development to our definition of "home" in the universe. He shares how, when we help our youth make meaning out of their world, they will become more at home in the universe.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Chapter 2 - Meaning and Faith
In this chapter, the author does a pretty extensive of job describing and defining the concept of "meaning-making". He discusses how we as children redefined our meaning of the world even beginning at the transition from conception to birth. Faith, he describes, is the knowledge of what "is" and that being spiritual - not religious - helps us to have that knowledge while we transition and redefine our meaning-making processes throughout our life.
It's interesting how the author disucsses "A new reality beyond loss". When working with the young adult population, or society in general, we are constantly handling with loss in our lives. Helping our youth address their losses so that they are able to recreate reality through faith and knowledge making, they will be successful in both our classrooms and their lives in general.
What becomes challenging for the people that we work with is that, whatever context we are working with them in, there is some re-definition of meaning that is taking place in that person's world. This happens regardless if the incident is a transition from a more challenging life as a foster child to a more permanent life and instilling that security and positive sense of meaning back into their world, or when we are working with a young adult in an educational setting.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Chapter 1 - Young Adulthood in a Changing World
Let's face it - adulthood has changed significantly over the last century. It is my observation that the transition to adulthood is occuring at a slower pace and a later date than in the past. A somewhat non-obvious example is one of the big steps into becoming an adult - acquiring a driver's license. In the state of Montana, for example, I was able to get my license with or without driver's ed at the age of 15. In Arizona, where I live one has to take a driver's course, get a permit which must last so long, and then graduate into getting an actual license which they cannot get until they are 16.
That being said, the book makes it clear that our society is favoring and supporting the later transition into adulthood. A prime example of this is the college student who returns to living with their parents after they obtain their undergraduate degree. So, what is the key marker identifying the transition to adulthood? It is clear that it's not the obtaining of a graduate degree, or getting one's first job. Also, the book reflects on when it is appropriate to give someone the respect that an adult requires.
It appears to me that there is at least, for the population which I support, that the transition to adulthood occurs at a quite inappropriate timeframe, unlike the adults that we may work with in an adult educational setting.
For children who are placed in foster care, the change into adulthood is made at a much earlier age, usually by an incident or series of incidents which thrusts them into this - whether it be through abuse or neglect. It makes it harder for them to then be prepared for adulthood when they would normally enter that part of their life.
The author goes onto to discuss how mentoring shapes the culture of our society, and how our roles as educators, parents, and adults in society can positively impact the future of our culture through the mentoring process.
That being said, the book makes it clear that our society is favoring and supporting the later transition into adulthood. A prime example of this is the college student who returns to living with their parents after they obtain their undergraduate degree. So, what is the key marker identifying the transition to adulthood? It is clear that it's not the obtaining of a graduate degree, or getting one's first job. Also, the book reflects on when it is appropriate to give someone the respect that an adult requires.
It appears to me that there is at least, for the population which I support, that the transition to adulthood occurs at a quite inappropriate timeframe, unlike the adults that we may work with in an adult educational setting.
For children who are placed in foster care, the change into adulthood is made at a much earlier age, usually by an incident or series of incidents which thrusts them into this - whether it be through abuse or neglect. It makes it harder for them to then be prepared for adulthood when they would normally enter that part of their life.
The author goes onto to discuss how mentoring shapes the culture of our society, and how our roles as educators, parents, and adults in society can positively impact the future of our culture through the mentoring process.
Intro to Mentoring
I think throughout this blog, I anticipate on adding my thoughts and feeling in my role as a foster parent and mentor.
To be very blunt and honest, it saddens me greatly the condition that our children and our young adults are in. There is a lack of hope and sadness on their faces that I see every day - whether it be visiting a group home to say hi to the home manager who is a good friend of mine, to take a kid for drug testing, or to visit one of my kids in juvenile detention. There is such a lack of purpose as to what they were put on this earth to do. I realize that I am only one person, and with the help of my loving partner who has been the greatest friend one could have, and the support of my friends, we can collectively make an impact in our childrens' futures.
I picked the book "Big Questions, Worthy Dreams: Mentoring Young Adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith" mainly because the population that I work with are young adults, and that this is what I feel the threshold is from secondary education to adult education. Our goal as instructors should not only be to provide a knowledge base that demonstrates our abilities in our area of expertise, but to demonstrate the interpersonal qualities and skills that young adults need to have as they enter adulthood, whenever that may be.
I welcome feedback and others' thoughts as I post my feelings throughout reading this powerful book.
To be very blunt and honest, it saddens me greatly the condition that our children and our young adults are in. There is a lack of hope and sadness on their faces that I see every day - whether it be visiting a group home to say hi to the home manager who is a good friend of mine, to take a kid for drug testing, or to visit one of my kids in juvenile detention. There is such a lack of purpose as to what they were put on this earth to do. I realize that I am only one person, and with the help of my loving partner who has been the greatest friend one could have, and the support of my friends, we can collectively make an impact in our childrens' futures.
I picked the book "Big Questions, Worthy Dreams: Mentoring Young Adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith" mainly because the population that I work with are young adults, and that this is what I feel the threshold is from secondary education to adult education. Our goal as instructors should not only be to provide a knowledge base that demonstrates our abilities in our area of expertise, but to demonstrate the interpersonal qualities and skills that young adults need to have as they enter adulthood, whenever that may be.
I welcome feedback and others' thoughts as I post my feelings throughout reading this powerful book.
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